Gina Capri
5th July 2009
There are some key questions to ask your self when dating…..you may conclude you don’t know actually have the answers, but you have to consider them.
What the hell are you looking for?
Well, you have answered that one, considerate, intelligent, wealthy, funny, tall, good looking, generous to a fault, loves children, dogs, cats, fish and octogenarians.
Of course, this man does not actually exist. So, you must go to question 2.
What the hell are you expecting?
Life long commitment, love, respect and to be adored even when your roots need doing, your eyebrows need plucking, your underwear has turned a nasty shade of grey and you have gained at least 20 pounds. They still worship and adore you – WAKE UP he doesn’t exist!
And if I am perfectly honest, the one’s that do worship and adore you, are not the one’s worth having. Because either;
a) They put you on a pedestal within moments of meeting you, i.e. lust at first sight, and then additionally lured in by your ready wit and sparking personality. Which is all good, except the day comes when you fall off this pedestal with an enormous thump, and the shock of him changing towards you overnight is a major confidence killer. This fall from grace makes you question everything about yourself, is it my bum, my not quite pert anymore boobs, the extra lines on my face etc. A definite no no.
or
b) They are complete and utter drips with no personality of their own, so use yours as a method of bigging themselves up.
What the hell are you looking for?
Well, you have answered that one, considerate, intelligent, wealthy, funny, tall, good looking, generous to a fault, loves children, dogs, cats, fish and octogenarians.
Of course, this man does not actually exist. So, you must go to question 2.
What the hell are you expecting?
Life long commitment, love, respect and to be adored even when your roots need doing, your eyebrows need plucking, your underwear has turned a nasty shade of grey and you have gained at least 20 pounds. They still worship and adore you – WAKE UP he doesn’t exist!
And if I am perfectly honest, the one’s that do worship and adore you, are not the one’s worth having. Because either;
a) They put you on a pedestal within moments of meeting you, i.e. lust at first sight, and then additionally lured in by your ready wit and sparking personality. Which is all good, except the day comes when you fall off this pedestal with an enormous thump, and the shock of him changing towards you overnight is a major confidence killer. This fall from grace makes you question everything about yourself, is it my bum, my not quite pert anymore boobs, the extra lines on my face etc. A definite no no.
or
b) They are complete and utter drips with no personality of their own, so use yours as a method of bigging themselves up.
So, it feels nice at first, you ignore lots of their little annoying traits, because lets face it, who doesn’t want to feel the luurve. However, you cannot push these niggles aside forever, and what happens is, you turn into the bitch from hell – because quite frankly he gets on your tits. The more vile you are, the more hurt and pathetic he becomes, the more annoyed you get and it becomes an ever downward spiral (I’m sure you have seen women like that, and hate them on sight), well you can see how it happens. You do not want to be THAT woman.
So now 1 and 2 are a no no. So what do you want, and really, what can you hope to achieve?
Well, there is another thing to consider, where are you (and him) on the evolutionary scale of singledom. By that I mean, when you are fresh out of a long term relationship you are really at amoeba level, and as time evolves you move into monkey, ape and finally man (there are other stages, but I don’t want to bore you).
So now 1 and 2 are a no no. So what do you want, and really, what can you hope to achieve?
Well, there is another thing to consider, where are you (and him) on the evolutionary scale of singledom. By that I mean, when you are fresh out of a long term relationship you are really at amoeba level, and as time evolves you move into monkey, ape and finally man (there are other stages, but I don’t want to bore you).
You need to be at a relatively similar stage on this scale, or it won’t work. So, not only do you need be attracted, interested and all the other good stuff, you also need to be baggage free, in terms of your (or his) ex.
And yet another consideration is children. Does he have any? How old are they? Does he spend inordinate amounts of time with them?
And the biggie, are they vile little brats?
Now you know why it is so hard to meet Mr Right or for that matter Ms Right.
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