By Jo Barnett, Dating Coach and Connect Dating Co-ordinator
I have noticed that people are still FAR too hung up on appearances when they are looking for their soul mate. Please do me one favor, step away from the computer, move over to the nearest mirror and just check in with yourself. Yes, you are gorgeous, I'll take your word for it, but notice the difference between say, you and Angelina Jolie, or you and Brad Pitt.
By all means, love yourself and the way you look, it's important, but be realistic about your 'gorgeousness' when you are gazing into the eyes of the next guy or girl you meet. Notice how most people have something attractive about them, and its not always the image we had in our head. Try to look a bit further than their face and their figure. Yes, it is important I know, but so is depth, personality and values.
Since I have had the opportunity of working for a real live dating agency, I seem to be constantly saying the words, 'don't worry, we will start looking for your new match for you ...' Only there is no guarantee just how long it will take us to find her or him. Wonderful, fantastic, gorgeous people are being rejected because they do not fit the 'image' that someone has created inside their head, of what their ideal soul mate will look like.
What I want to share with you is this, take that physical image of your ideal soul mate and set it free, screw it up into a ball and start with a clean canvass. Great, now you are open to the world and meeting new, interesting people, one of which just might be your soul mate.
Now for the 'real' part, if you could live your life really being you in all your glory, how would you behave? What would I notice about you as you are walking to the train station in the morning, and as you sweep the trolly around Sainsburys (or M&S). Whats 'real' about you, is what is most appealing about you, AND what draws you to the opposite sex.
Are you afraid to really BE yourself? How much of your thoughts and opinions do you share with the world. Now that you are being realistic about how your soul mate will look, combine this with an injection of your very own personality, and hay presto, we get someone who is ready to go out and date!
What I ask of you is this, that you take these two wonderful gifts, of being realistic and being real, and go and speak to as many people as possible this month, enjoy the feeling of being 'real' and of getting to know someone you would not normally give the time of day.
Have fun keeping it real...
Jo Barnett
jo@datingcoach.me.uk
